Why a little bit of Celibacy can go a long way.
I recently embarked upon a conscious period of celibacy, the first time I had actively chosen to be celibate.
There had been times in my life when I wasn’t having sex, even sometimes quite long periods. However all those times, I was still masturbating, looking at pornography, thinking about sex and desiring sex. This time, things were different.
It was the first time in my life where I made an active choice to not relate to the world as a sexual being.
This meant more than just not having sex. This meant that I would not dwell in sexual desire or sexual thoughts, masturbate, or look at pornography during that time. When sexual thoughts did come, I did my best to sublimate them, or to elevate them.
For instance, when I saw a gorgeous woman walking down the street and felt aroused, instead of going into any sort of fantasy, I simply connected with the feeling of gratitude for beautiful beings like her and for the life-force energy that she radiates. It meant not engaging the world from the sacral chakra, Svadisthana chakra, and instead doing my best to relate to the world from the higher chakras—from the navel chakra, Manipura, heart chakra, Anahata and the 3rd eye, Ajna.
The conditions for this experiment were perfect: I was moving to a new city where I knew hardly anyone, and I wanted to focus on my work, writing and career. I made the decision that for the first month in my new city I would be celibate. When I met people in this context, instead of meeting them as potential sexual partners, I just met them as people. Celibacy simplified a lot of interactions in my life and freed up time and energy to focus on priorities like my career.
This proved to be no easy task.
It brought into clear awareness just how much sexual desire normally rules my life. In the first days and weeks I was constantly shocked by the thoughts and desires, by how much my being seemed to dwell on sex.
With the ally of yogic sublimation practices that give the ability to move energy from lower to higher chakras, I was able to, most of the time at least, elevate and refine my consciousness, my thoughts, my actions and my desires. If you are not already familiar with these techniques, this tutorial will explain one of the most powerful sublimation practices: Uddiyana bandha.
Sublimation really is the key to turning celibacy into an empowering experience.
with love and gratitude,